PART II - Taking a step of faith

After deciding at EDGE preview that I was going to start applying for JAX the next step was the trickiest!  Telling my parents, who were positive I was going to Eagle Lake.  However, God's timing is perfect.  I had spent the rest of the week in Colorado visiting friends and had only one, short night before I had to get back to Cedar Falls to Biscuit sit. (Biscuit is the dog I dog sit :)) 

I got home after driving for 12ish hours, I ate and fell asleep on the couch...however, after I woke from my little nap my parents asked if I had heard anything about this summer.  I told them that I wasn't going to be going to Eagle Lake anymore I was going to go to JAX.  My parents were caught off guard and there were a few tears shed but I showed them everything I had gotten about it. We watched some videos, google mapped University of North Florida and talked for awhile.  I went to bed knowing that I was going to JAX with my parent's blessing.

The next day I packed up my car and headed for school.  Next I had to apply.  Which would have been an easy task if I wasn't such a procrastinator and didn't take the literacy education killer class this last semester!  I did eventually get it done...even if it was at 9:45 PM the night it was due...:) And....I got accepted as a team leader.

One of my parent's biggest questions was how I was going to pay for this.  I told my dad that most people raise support.  This was what kept me from being a team leader in summer of '09 at SMR so I was worried how this would go over.  However, my parents talked about it and the next time I was home my parents told me to do what I needed to.  It was sweet to see how God had worked to change their hearts and continue to open doors for me to go to JAX!

Even though my parents were now at least semi-comfortable with me raising support, I hadn't realized that I wasn't quite there yet.  I had tried to save but with little time to work that wasn't really an option.  I hadn't realized how much pride I had and how in order to do this I would have to get over that and allow people to partner with me in doing God's work.

One of the passages that has been very uplifting to me in the past few months with fund raising has been Philippians 4:10-20.  Paul is thanking the Philippians for their gifts and sharing in his ministry.  That is what I was needing...partners in ministry.  I was also encouraged by one of my staff members.  I ran into her on my way to bible study one night and I started asking her who I should send letters to.  She told me everyone!  I don't get to decide who is on my team.  I had the chance to invite everyone I knew to be a part of what God is doing through me and that is good and glorifying in his eyes.  So I started sending out letters!  Nearly 100 letters in total.

It's been amazing to see God's faithfulness in it all.  I had been avoiding checking it and then when I finally did I saw I had over $400 already, which was so incredible!  When I got home for school I was seeing that I had quite a ways to go and was getting a bit discouraged.  I have been learning a lot about prayer and praying fervently and what that looks like.  So I went for a run and prayed the entire time for my funding.  One of the promises I prayed through came from Philippians 4:19 "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."  God is going to meet all of my needs, even my funding for this summer!  It has been amazing to see God's faithfulness I am now up to almost $2000 as of tonight and am so excited how God is going to provide the rest. God has really grown my faith in this process...and that is what it has been, a process.

Even more to come about JAX and what I've been learning during my break!  I leave in 10 days!

Part I - Beginning the Journey

I would say it started last summer. I stayed in Cedar Falls, took classes, and worked all the hours catering and babysitting could give me. I definitely learned a ton and grew as a woman of God but it wasn't a restful or extremely fun summer to say the least. One day while sitting on my couch in my apartment avoiding homework I began research on what I was going to do THIS SUMMER!

I eventually decided on doing Eagle Lake Camp. It was perfect! It was in the mountains of Colorado (which I love), it was PAID (my parents would like that), and it was working with kids (which is what I'm going to do with the rest of my life). This was exactly what I was supposed to do with my summer! I was sure of it. I had even talked to one of my best friends and she was thinking about it too!

For some reason though I knew I wasn't suppose to send in the application. I had it almost all filled out...but it just didn't seem right for some reason. Then Main Event 2010. Even though I was convinced I was going to Eagle Lake I knew that God wanted me to have a leadable heart and keep my options open. I had been learning a lot about listening to God and waiting on him.

One night as I was praying and spending time in the word before my bible study I felt God was telling me I didn't trust him. I began to realize that I wasn't trusting God with my finances. Eagle Lake Camp was the easy choice because all I had to trust God with was that I would be accepted. With JAX I would have to trust him with raising over $2,300 and being accepted and guidance to lead and I am currently learning much more.

So...I resisted...until encouragement came. As I was leaving for Thanksgiving break I received an anonymous card in the mail with $100 in cash in it. It said to use the money to help me do God's will for me that summer. I knew as soon as I opened that letter I was not going to Eagle Lake and I was going to trust God with more than I wanted to at that moment! God had increased my faith through this he was going to be faithful for the rest.

I ignored this and tried my best to escape the topic for the time being with my parents. Then over Christmas break I went to EDGE preview. The whole weekend was about trusting God--go figures :) I also had a talk with one of my roommates at EDGE about raising funds and how her parents weren't in total support and how she dealt with it.

After EDGE preview I knew I was going to STP.

Two verses that comes up time and time again in my journal during this time.

"Always give yourselves fully to the word of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58

I knew that no matter what I did this summer it was not in vain as long as what I was doing was for the Lord...

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will counsel you and watch over you.

Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding

but must be controlled by bit and bridle

or they will not come to you" Psalm 32:8

I knew God would be faithful to this promise of leading me as long as i sought to understand and listen to his voice. It also was reassuring that this decision depending more on God than on me.

*more to come in PART II :)

Taking a Look Around...

I think it is really easy for me to be blind. Blind to what is going on around me because I'm scared to face what it really means. I don't want to feel bad or guilty. So instead I ignore it because it's easier than being vulnerable.

One of my assignments for my Human Relations class is to do some community service. We were given a group of choices and one of the places was the hospitality house in Waterloo. When I was younger I remember watching a show about poverty and crying myself to sleep because I was guilty of what I had. How I would have given up my bed that night to anyone. Ever since then I seem to look the other way or make myself "blind" when I see someone who is really poor. I haven't ever interacted with the really poor. When I was in high school my family drove to Florida and I remember staying in Atlanta. We saw people in living under bridges. My first reaction was fear.

This fear is what I felt going into this experience: fear of the unknown, fear of not knowing what to say to them. I also am possibly going to Nicaragua for my student teaching. Nicaragua is one of the poorest countries in the world and in less than a year I will be living there. My perception of the homeless was old men sleeping in the park who were either on drugs or alcoholics. I expected all of them to be lazy, not wanting to better themselves. My expectations for the house were that it would be similar to a coffee shop atmosphere for the homeless. Neither the people nor the place aligned with my imagination.

While sitting at the dining table during lunch on Saturday I had a surprising moment. One of the ladies that had come in that day was talking about when she went to UNI. This lady was trying to get a job doing landscaping. She was following up on a lead she got at the hospitality house. I wouldn’t describe her as lazy by any means. She had just hit rough patch in her life. The trigger was that she had gone to UNI. She was a college student just like me at one point. She had lived in the dorms and figured out her schedule and walked around the same campus I now do. Now she was living in her van and showering at the hospitality house. Made me think about how it could happen to anyone.

This morning I spent sometime driving around the neighborhood before I got to the house. It is like something I've never seen. It's just 15 minutes from my apartment but it's a whole new world. Tilting houses, high speed chases, and fences made out of tin: this is what the neighborhood is made of.

The house is just that, a home for the homeless. It has a bathroom where the homeless people can bathe, a washer and dryer where they can do their laundry, computers where they can catch up with family or look for jobs, clean clothes, a TV and games were the can relax and of course food to eat. Joni, one of the directors, saw a need in the community and has been working to meet that need. Shelters like the Salvation Army and the Catholic Workers House will let people sleep there but there is no place for these people to go for lunch or if it’s cold or rainy outside. I also learned that the Salvation Army only lets people stay there for twenty nights and Catholic Worker’s House only lets people stay there for ten nights. After that they are back on the streets.

I think I learned that sometime you have to be willing to walk in someone else’s shoes. We are more alike than different. It also made me very thankful for what my parents have done for me and the status I was born into. I know if I ever had troubles they would take me in to help me back on my feet. This lady needed just that, a little help to get her back on her feet. I also realized how much I take for granted. I have clothes that I don’t wear. While I was there a man came in and took clothes from the clothing room. The clothes that I wear would be better utilized by them, than they are currently being used by me. I would recommend everyone get to know someone who is in poverty it really changes your perspective and let you see how privileged most of us are.

I also look at Joni and how her heart just breaks for these people. She not only saw something that needed to be done but she did something about it. She is the one advocating for the homeless in Waterloo. She gives so much of herself to these people. She is truely dedicated to her mission. There are only two other places like this in the Midwest: one in the twin cities and one in Chicago.

Student Teaching

Two weeks ago I had my international/out-of-state student teaching interview. I didn't know where exactly I wanted to go. I had put Greece and Switerland as my top two choices but was thinking that I wanted to stay in the US and just do a out-of-state placement. After talking to Leigh Martin, the director of international student teaching she suggested that I go to Nicaragua. It is an amazing school and they are always begging for student teachers from UNI. I am so excited to have this opportunity to live in another country and learn about their culture.

I am super excited to see how God is going to use this opportunity. My roommate Mallory is going to Nicaragua this summer for a couple weeks as part of the Speech Pathology group here at UNI. They are actually working at a Christian orphanage. I would love to work at an orphanage like this. Nicaragua is a very poor country so I know there will be lots of places for me to serve and I'm so excited about it! I feel like God is really openning doors for me to go to Nicaragua. More to come!

Oh Finals! So glad you are done!

What a week! The stress is over! And what a stressfull week it was. I was not stressed at all coming into this week, until Tuesday. Tuesday, December 15, 2009....what a day. You know the typical finals week nightmare: you sleep through a final. Well I got pretty close.

7:45am
My alarm goes off. I realize that I have a final in fifteen minutes and I should be on my way to campus instead of lying in my bed. I throw on my pants that were lying in front of my closet after staying up until 3am finishing a tri-fold for my 1pm final. grab sweatshirt, grab toothbrush and toothpaste, grab my compact to cover the bags under my eyes, realize Teckie never called to wake me up. We have our 8am class together and surely my morning person friend who is usually up by 6 has realized that i wasn't awake. I run down to her apartment (the floor below me) and knock...wait...ring door bell...wait. I see my sleepy friend and hear her start freaking out. She too slept in and was awaked my rap-tapping on her door. I run down to start the car as she gathers herself for the presentation she has to give in 13 minutes.

8:01am
We reach campus and arrive to class only a minute late. Although we made it on time we are still not totally with it. Teckie gives her presentation.

8:57am
I go straight from class to babysitting...my second home here in Cedar Falls. As I tell Tracie the events of my morning I brush my teeth. Dawson and Graham find is fasinating that i don't need to stand over sink to do. :) Tracie tells me she is going to be home at noon so that i don't have to rush to my next final at 1. This gives me time to go back to apartment and grab my tri-fold that I didn't put in car this morning because of the shock of waking up late. I text Teckie to tell her I'll pick her and our trifolds up.

11:26am
While making Dawson his second sandwhich with balongna and mayo I start to gag. I have never appreciated the smell, texture, or taste of maynasse. I had successfully made it through the first sandwhich but it doesn't work this time. I start gagging...run to the bathroom and throw up. I have never thrown up in a situation like this before. I attribute to stress.

12:10pm
Tracie is ten minutes late. I'm not too worried but try to call Teckie to have her bring my trifold to class via bus and can't get a hold of her. I begin to get a little panicky...again, i attribut this to stress.

12:20pm
Tracie is still not back and I still can't get a hold of Teckie. I go into panick/anxiety mode. Even though I know it's going to be fine I can't help but thinking something has happened to Tracie. I begin searching my mind for all the possible senerios: I can take the kids to calls with me, I can have them go to the neighbors, etc.

12:25pm
Tracie pulls up. I am very relieved by have worked myself up to the point of tears. At any second I will explode. She asks me if i'm ok. I tell her I'm fine I just need to leave. She pays me and follows me out of their house as i begin to bawl. Tracie stops me helps me to calm down and prays for me (she is amazing!) I thank her and drive back to ROTH crying the whole way. As I go around the whindy road that leads to ROTH i start sliding and my car does a 180...luckly no cars were coming and I was able to just turn myself around. Not thirty seconds later I start sliding again...again God is good and placed nothing in my path.

12:40pm
I arrive a ROTH and grab my tri-fold and Teckie. We head to campus. We never have a problem parking on campus this time of day, however, because people actually go to class during finals week campus is crazy. All of our parking options are full and we end up parking a ways away and being about 7 minutes late to our trifold presentation. Luckily we weren't the only ones and it wasn't a big deal.

3:10pm
After our presentations, having half the stuff fall off of my board and the emotional rollercoaster of the day, Teckie had to do a few things at St. Stephen's. I slept on a couch in the basement as she read though essays for antioch. The craziness is over but my back feels as though i have been lifting Elephants.
I talk to Tracie. We had talked earlier about it being ok if she was just back before 12:30. Our miscommunication had cause the mix up

6:00pm
We meet friends at Panera to begin preparing for the next day of finals. Another trifold is on the agenda for this Tuesday night.

One of the craziest days of my life. I have to say that it was an accumulation of a bunch of factors that made it such a hard day.

That night as I was working on my tri-fold for the next day that Teckie was listening to a Personal Wellness video about stress. Most of the things the professor was telling us we had experienced first hand. Stress lowers your reaction time (sliding while driving), Tiredness makes you less effective on your tests, etc.

I would also like to note that i had to do two tri-fold for finals week. I think tri-fold are really dumb...because I worked for hours on both of them and spent money on both the actual board and the stuff to decorate it. I used one for about 1.5 hours and the other for about 9 minutes. Now I have two boards in my room that I will never use and can't store very easily. Other options...throw away? I hate having to waste something like this but my options are few...any suggestions?

I am really thankful for this upcoming break and am feeling much better and a lot less stressed. I had to write 6 papers on Wednesday and Thursday and that was nothing compared to Tuesday. I think God gives us days like Tuesday to remind us how he has blessed us in other ways: like the people he has put in our lives. For me that is Tracie, Teckie, my roommates, my bible study girls who's laughter helps me deal with the stress, Dawson who prayed for me Tuesday night (he is 9) and of course my family and friends who are always praying and always encouraging me. He also commands us in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 to

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I know I have been truely blessed and am thankful for God's grace and the people he had placed in my life to remind me in times like Tuesday that I'm not doing it on my own.

Last Day at Lincoln

Helping a student in my 4th grade classroom

Semester 1 group

Yep...we're so professional :)

Doing the Lincoln Elementary school Pledge

One year.

I can't even believe it was year ago I was trying to figure out what I was going to do for the rest of college career. I didn't have a major or a minor and was thinking about taking off to Colorado for a semester via National Student Exchange. Then I heard about an opportunity to take classes at Lincoln Elementary in Waterloo.

I had know idea what to do. I prayed a lot about it and decided I would at least apply for LEPDS and see what happened. It turned into me declaring a major, minor and throwing myself into education. I have learned so much! God has provided me with many memories from the past year. I can't even remember college before I drove to Lincoln every day.

I have formed so many relationships both socially and professionally. The thirteen girls that took off on this journey with me are some of my best friends and I have had so many laughs with. At the beginning of this semester our professors didn't know what to do with us because unlike all of on campus classes we all talked, even on the first day. People often get annoyed with us talking about all of our inside jokes. DO IT! :)

Professionally I feel like I have grown so much. I remember the first day I stood up in front of my 4th grade class and introduced myself. I was shaking and SO nervous! My last lesson I did I felt so comfortable and even confident standing in front of an unfamiliar 4th grade class with all of my peers and an instructor watching. I also made so many connections with classroom teachers. I know I could go into almost any classroom at Lincoln and ask to do a lesson or observe something and the teacher would welcome me. What great connections!

I feel like being at Lincoln has stretched me in so many ways. I have learned so much about the diversity found in so many schools across America. I have been able to be apart of a professional environment that most students don't experience until they get in the workforce. I have been held to higher expectations then I believed I could meet. I have seen the difference in my other classes. I am aware of so many more strategies and techniques than many of the pre-service teachers in my other classes.

I will miss the women I have done life with for the past two semesters. I can't even wait for what God has in store for my last two semesters before student teaching. I have confidence that God will open more opportunities and more chances to build relationships with the people I am around daily.

*NERF GUNS*

So this is a little late, but definitely a highlight of my college career! So Sunday before Thanksgiving when NO ONE was in ROTH we decided it was time to have a Nerf gun war. It was SWEET!!! We started out by playing on the third and fourth floors and if you got hit once on the head or twice else where you had to make a tally on the door. I of course had five tallies and lost the game but got Shane twice in a row in the head...so i decided that's OK :)

Second round was on the first floor but got cut short because of our RLC hearing us and asking us to move it from outside her apartment.

Third round...and probably the best....was in our apartment without lights. Two people hit upstairs as three of us go up the stairs to try to hit them before they hit us. We did this twice. Then decided to have two people go out of the apartment as three of us hid on both floors. I hid in the closet and while Kate distracted Ryan and Adam I surprised them form the side...we still lost, but here are some fotos!