Teaching the teacher

So if you haven't heard....
1. I got a job.
2. I moved to Colorado.
3. It's the most challenging thing I've ever done!

So on Tuesday, September 20, 2011 I had an interview for a 5th grade position in Commerce City, Colorado.  I had already interviewed with the principal and didn't really think I would get the job so I had taken a sub job that whole day and got home 20 minutes before my interview started! AH!  Anyway, they must have been impressed with something I said because on Thursday, September 22, 2011 I got a call that I got the job and prepared to move to Denver, Colorado!

On Saturday, September 24th I packed up my Ford Escape and escaped to Colorado!  I am now living in a spare room with very gracious, newly married friends in Englewood (which is a suburb of Denver) and making the 20 minute to 1 hour commute to Commerce City and back. My life lately has been full of changes and challenges.

My Job
I am taking over for a teacher who quit a month in to accept a position with the Denver Fire Department.  He didn't get paid for his last 2 weeks of school because he broke is contract.  So beside the fact that this district is a hard place to serve, my students haven't really had a teacher for 3 1/2 weeks.  (They had subs for 1 1/2 weeks.  I say subs because the first sub they had quite :S)  Anyway my kids haven't had much in the way of structure, rules, consequences for their actions/disrespect, etc, etc, etc.

My job is hard.  I came into a mess...and have felt the effects deeply.  I have been putting in 12-14 hour days to set up my classroom, figure out the school expectations of teachers, and figure out ways to best serve my kids.  I have gotten notes from my kids that say things like: "To Ms. McCasland, WE ALL HATE YOU!"  I have had parents tell me I'm not as personable as their child's last teacher and I am just plain strict. I have been told by my students they are moving classrooms because they don't like me.  I have to point out to them that every other 5th grade classroom has the same expectations as ours does.

It's been exhausting emotionally and physically.  It's hard to go to work when you know that the 25 little people that you spend all day with are going to test you in every way that they can.  There have been points in the last week and a half that I have just been sitting in my classroom asking myself, "How did I get here?  Why in the world did I take this job?  Can I really survive until tomorrow?! Until May?"

THE TRUTH!
My first day of my job I threw up because of altitude sickness, my first day with kids I cried from about 2:50 when I dropped my kids off at specials to about 6:00pm.  On my own I can't survive the day or the week or the month or the year!  There would be no way! The truth is that I have to give God control of my life, of my classroom, of everything! God had definitely orchestrated this experience for me and has put so many blessings into this situation.

My Team
The other 5th grade teachers are such a blessing and I really don't know that I would be able to come to work without them.  They are so willing to help me whenever they can and we get along so great!  I am so, so encouraged and grateful for them everyday! They have been so patient with me as I cry, ask what am I suppose to do now?, and just need so much support!

My Roomies
Ha! Sky and Abbey have taken me in and let me sleep on their air mattress until I find somewhere else to hunker down.  So funny that it took until after Abbey was married and moved to Colorado for us to be roommates.  Sky is also so great and really should win an award because Abbey works in the same district as me and if I don't come home crying she does.  A living in the same house as stressed, emotion women award...goes to...Sky Paxton.  With so many things that is ALL NEW it is so nice to have such good friends.

Church
So after I had interviewed for a job out here the first time Abbey had texted me and told me they had found a church they absolutely LOVED and thought I would love too!  So coming out I had thought about it and really was feeling excited about going to this church but unsure if it was ok to just go to a church and not look around first.

My first night at Park Church I knew it was for me!  Awesome message and just wonderful people who wanted to invite me into the community that was being established.  ALSO, I know 2 other couples BESIDES Abbey & Sky/Lauren & Stephen that go to this church.  They were team leaders at Snow Mountain Ranch (Navigator Summer Training Program) when I was a team member.  I was blown away!

Community Group
So through Park Church they do what's called Community Groups.  Pretty much it is a small group that meets to eat dinner, talk about the sermon the weekend before and share our lives.  It has been the biggest blessing and have felt so cared for by these people who I've known for a meager 2 weeks!  I reallly believe that God had set up this community for me to come into because he knew I would need it, He knew I would need to be encouraged!

What God's Been Teaching me Lately:
So in church we have been going through Hebrews.  Last week we talked about Hebrews 3:1-6 and how Jesus is the builder of all things.  I'm going to give the short version but after communion on Sunday our pastor got back up and asked "What are you putting your confidence in? Is it Jesus or is it anything else?"  The truth is that my confidence has been going down, down, down lately.  I lived at home all summer and school started and I hadn't even had a call for an interview!  Not much to boost confidence in yourself.  Then tack on a job where you have no control and you have some low confidence.
After my first day with kids I was praying on my way to school about my kids.  Not really having the confidence that God would answer my prayers.  I ended up having a great Thursday and Friday.  I've been realizing it's not bad to have no confidence in myself because I forces me to have confidence in Jesus.  It forces me to recognize his rule in my life and even if the don't know it, my students' lives.

 I praise God for he has placed me in a situation of growth, a situation of total reliance on Him!