I miss this little boy

This little guy is who I spent all summer with...I took this video the weekend before I left for Colorado...just before he turned 2 years old.  Try to guess what his favorite word is!  At least it can be used against him later in life. ; )

Journal from Wednesday

October 19, 2011

            Ah, Wednesdays!  Today my goal was to leave work by 4:30.  I left work laughing because I honestly couldn’t believe what happened after school today.  My students were terrible today.  The whole school had junior achievement all day.  That poor shmuck that got placed in my room not only had to put up with my kids but he also was the only one who didn’t have a teaching partner.

            I had big plans for this day without having to teach.  Did I get anything done? No I didn’t!  My plans for getting ahead came down getting 4 slides done for vocabulary tomorrow.  If only my students didn’t have to constantly be babysat.

            During one of the afternoon sessions I was walking around and noticed one of them kept sticking his head in his sweatshirt and his arms weren’t in his arm holes.  He saw me and put his shirt on right.  Then I noticed that there was something in the front of his jacket.  I asked him what it was.  “Nothing Miss.”  “Boy, I can see there is something in your shirt give it to me.”  He pulls out his PSP.  “Really?  Really?  You are playing video games while we have a guest speaker?”  I wrote him a referral.  No electronics are allowed in school.

            My students aren’t allowed to sit in groups.  I tried it for a week and it was a nightmare!  However, for Junior Achievement they had to be in groups to do the activities.  While they were supposed to be playing a game I have a boy pull me in hall and tell me two other boys are calling him gay.  So I pull them ALL out into the hall to get to the end of it.  Neither will confess, each one says it was the other one.  I’ve got nothing.  I end up splitting up the three boys into different groups.

            I finally get a break from my kids at the end of the day and have a half hour to call a parent so that I can keep one of my students for 15 minutes after school and fill out 25 behavior sheets to send home.  Also I’m expected to sign their certificates for the day.  Not going to happen.  On top of it all it is also one of my students’ birthdays and so there is cake waiting for my horribly behaved students.  This all has to be passed out in the 3 minutes after specials…yeah right!

            I go and pick up my kids.  The mom I had called during specials shows up to talk to me.  As my kids are getting cake I turn around to find 2 of my students smacking each other.  My first fight as a teacher and it occurs in the classroom.  All at once I am ordering kids to sit down.  One of the students that owed me time after class leaves.  I run outside and yell for him to get back here!  A parent is waiting to talk to me.  I have to keep the two fighters apart and fill out two red referrals for fighting.  My two fighters are handling it totally different.  One is bawling and asking if I can give him another chance. I will now refer to him as the crying fighter.  “No I can’t give you another chance!  Punching is not allowed!”  My other one is asking if he can go home.  “NO you cannot go home!  YOU JUST GOT INTO A FIGHT!  Are you serious?!  You aren’t going anywhere!”

            I couldn’t even think there was so much going on around me!  Kate my teammate heard my yelling, came into my room, and asked if there was anything she could do.  I told her just to stand at the door and don’t leave me.  Jesse, another teammate, came in and asked if he could take anyone.  I had him take my crying fighter.  I quickly shooed the rest of the children out of my class so that I could talk to the parent and deal with my fighters.

            I talked to the parent, who only speaks Spanish.  I mostly spoke to the older son who then translated for his mother.  I explained that I had to redirect her son too much during the day so he owed me time.  It’s a standard consequence.  She asked to speak to our assistant principal.  So I walked down with her taking my fleeing fighter with me.  I walked into the office.  My principal is standing there and I hand her the two red referrals.

            She sends my fleeing fighter on his way with directions to report to the office in the morning for in school suspension. (This was his second fight in 2 days.  YIKES!)  I begin to cry out of frustration and being just plain overwhelmed by what just occurred in my classroom and now in the office.

In the mean time the mother I had talked to and my assistant principal walk into the office.  My vice principal explains that the mother wants her son to be moved to a different class.  There have been about 10 request from students and parents in my class for this already.  My principal will not budge on this issue.  They are just going to have to put up with me, whether they like it or not. 

The mother claims her son has not had behavior problems until now.  My principal tells her that’s a lie and he was sent back to Central from another school because he was too much a behavior issue.  I go through the day with this boy as my principal counts how many redirections I had to give him…we get to twelve.  Finally the parents admit they need help with him and we end the meeting by signing him up for counseling.

In the meantime my fleeing fighter and his grandmother appear outside of the office waiting their turn for a chance at me.  Begin round two!  So grandma and grandson come in.  Grandma points her finger at me and begins to say, “She doesn’t know that while the sub was there that crying fighter threw scissors at fleeing fighter and he had a cut on his face!”  WHOA! Who knew it was ok to revenge fight?  This lady obviously!  Then my vice principal steps in and informs the grandma that his is a different boy by the same first name.  So grandma settles down.

While my principals are talking to her, the crying fighter’s mom shows up.  We have her wait outside of the office while I go and find her child.  I left him with Jesse and haven’t seen him since.  I go to Jesse’s room and he is sitting at a desk.  I thank Jesse for his help and inform crying fighter that his mother is there and he can come down to the office with me. 

We get to the office.  He and his mother sit outside as we finish up with Grandma and fleeing fighter.  They finally leave and so begins round 3 for the evening.  Crying fighter recounts the fight events where he claims he didn’t hit fleeing fighter.  “Crying Fighter, I…saw…you…hit…fleeing fighter…back!  You and I both know you have trouble owning your behavior!”  He also gets in school suspension for the next day.

I walk back to my classroom in disbelief of what just went down.  I just went three rounds with parents.  It’s after 5 o’clock and I’ve been in the office dealing with parents for an hour and a half.  I am suppose to be home by now!  So I pack up and head out before round four can come my way!

Teaching the teacher

So if you haven't heard....
1. I got a job.
2. I moved to Colorado.
3. It's the most challenging thing I've ever done!

So on Tuesday, September 20, 2011 I had an interview for a 5th grade position in Commerce City, Colorado.  I had already interviewed with the principal and didn't really think I would get the job so I had taken a sub job that whole day and got home 20 minutes before my interview started! AH!  Anyway, they must have been impressed with something I said because on Thursday, September 22, 2011 I got a call that I got the job and prepared to move to Denver, Colorado!

On Saturday, September 24th I packed up my Ford Escape and escaped to Colorado!  I am now living in a spare room with very gracious, newly married friends in Englewood (which is a suburb of Denver) and making the 20 minute to 1 hour commute to Commerce City and back. My life lately has been full of changes and challenges.

My Job
I am taking over for a teacher who quit a month in to accept a position with the Denver Fire Department.  He didn't get paid for his last 2 weeks of school because he broke is contract.  So beside the fact that this district is a hard place to serve, my students haven't really had a teacher for 3 1/2 weeks.  (They had subs for 1 1/2 weeks.  I say subs because the first sub they had quite :S)  Anyway my kids haven't had much in the way of structure, rules, consequences for their actions/disrespect, etc, etc, etc.

My job is hard.  I came into a mess...and have felt the effects deeply.  I have been putting in 12-14 hour days to set up my classroom, figure out the school expectations of teachers, and figure out ways to best serve my kids.  I have gotten notes from my kids that say things like: "To Ms. McCasland, WE ALL HATE YOU!"  I have had parents tell me I'm not as personable as their child's last teacher and I am just plain strict. I have been told by my students they are moving classrooms because they don't like me.  I have to point out to them that every other 5th grade classroom has the same expectations as ours does.

It's been exhausting emotionally and physically.  It's hard to go to work when you know that the 25 little people that you spend all day with are going to test you in every way that they can.  There have been points in the last week and a half that I have just been sitting in my classroom asking myself, "How did I get here?  Why in the world did I take this job?  Can I really survive until tomorrow?! Until May?"

THE TRUTH!
My first day of my job I threw up because of altitude sickness, my first day with kids I cried from about 2:50 when I dropped my kids off at specials to about 6:00pm.  On my own I can't survive the day or the week or the month or the year!  There would be no way! The truth is that I have to give God control of my life, of my classroom, of everything! God had definitely orchestrated this experience for me and has put so many blessings into this situation.

My Team
The other 5th grade teachers are such a blessing and I really don't know that I would be able to come to work without them.  They are so willing to help me whenever they can and we get along so great!  I am so, so encouraged and grateful for them everyday! They have been so patient with me as I cry, ask what am I suppose to do now?, and just need so much support!

My Roomies
Ha! Sky and Abbey have taken me in and let me sleep on their air mattress until I find somewhere else to hunker down.  So funny that it took until after Abbey was married and moved to Colorado for us to be roommates.  Sky is also so great and really should win an award because Abbey works in the same district as me and if I don't come home crying she does.  A living in the same house as stressed, emotion women award...goes to...Sky Paxton.  With so many things that is ALL NEW it is so nice to have such good friends.

Church
So after I had interviewed for a job out here the first time Abbey had texted me and told me they had found a church they absolutely LOVED and thought I would love too!  So coming out I had thought about it and really was feeling excited about going to this church but unsure if it was ok to just go to a church and not look around first.

My first night at Park Church I knew it was for me!  Awesome message and just wonderful people who wanted to invite me into the community that was being established.  ALSO, I know 2 other couples BESIDES Abbey & Sky/Lauren & Stephen that go to this church.  They were team leaders at Snow Mountain Ranch (Navigator Summer Training Program) when I was a team member.  I was blown away!

Community Group
So through Park Church they do what's called Community Groups.  Pretty much it is a small group that meets to eat dinner, talk about the sermon the weekend before and share our lives.  It has been the biggest blessing and have felt so cared for by these people who I've known for a meager 2 weeks!  I reallly believe that God had set up this community for me to come into because he knew I would need it, He knew I would need to be encouraged!

What God's Been Teaching me Lately:
So in church we have been going through Hebrews.  Last week we talked about Hebrews 3:1-6 and how Jesus is the builder of all things.  I'm going to give the short version but after communion on Sunday our pastor got back up and asked "What are you putting your confidence in? Is it Jesus or is it anything else?"  The truth is that my confidence has been going down, down, down lately.  I lived at home all summer and school started and I hadn't even had a call for an interview!  Not much to boost confidence in yourself.  Then tack on a job where you have no control and you have some low confidence.
After my first day with kids I was praying on my way to school about my kids.  Not really having the confidence that God would answer my prayers.  I ended up having a great Thursday and Friday.  I've been realizing it's not bad to have no confidence in myself because I forces me to have confidence in Jesus.  It forces me to recognize his rule in my life and even if the don't know it, my students' lives.

 I praise God for he has placed me in a situation of growth, a situation of total reliance on Him!

Village Life

I live in the ANS Village.  To most of you that doesn't mean much but it's like living in a really small community.  If you have ever seen the village the "Others" live in on LOST then just imagine that but with a fence around it. :) There's lots of people, some excitement, and neighbors.  I lived in dorms with lots of roommates in college but it's not quite the same when you have families living around you rather than young adults.
About a week or so ago, maybe two weeks I was reading in my room (I do that a lot) and I hear Alex (my dear friend and neighbor) yell "SARAH! LAURA!  Come to my house ASAP and bring your cameras...I have something to show you!!!!!"  So in humoring my good friend in neighbor I did as she told me with as smile and went over to her house.  She told me to look in her toliet...my first reaction is "Alex, your gross!"  But Alex isn't the kind of girl who would poop and tell so I humored her.  This is what I found:

For those of you who don't know that is an iguana.  They are really common and we have tons on campus but I've never seen one in someone's house let alone in the toliet.  WHO KNEW!  So we went and got our good friend Melvin.  Melvin is one of the guys who is head of maintenance and he fixes things when they break.  He fixed my toilet, my air conditioner, listened to Alex cry when she an ant nest in her house; He pretty much does it all.  So here is a fun little video of Melvin the magician working his magic :)

My favorite part of this video is when Alex smiles in the end...haha! That one of the many reasons why I love her! :)

In other village news my friends bought motorcycles!  Learning to ride a motorcycle when you live in the village is a ticket to freedom and they cost under 2,000.  I couldn't get a picture, but i'm sure there will be one to come!

This semester has gone so so fast!  I can't believe it's only 8 more days of teaching for me.  Two this week, one week of SEMANA SANTA ( spring break!) in Costa Rica and Panama, and then we have Monday off the following week, and the next Monday off and then we leave!  It's gone so fast but I'm ready to be home and start the job pursuit!

One way I really need prayer is just of this whole job thing. Just that God would give me wisdom as to where to apply and he would just provide what I need in those places.  I had a little "worry day" on Saturday.  (Worry Days are day I freak out about the future)  Luckily I was able to talk to my mom who reminded me that it really isn't in my hands anyway!  Yay for wise mothers!

Next post will be full of Semana Santa pictures!!! WOOO HOOO!

Florida, Fifth grade, and Mombacho!

I am really a terrible blogger.  I think about it frequently but often put it off!  Oh well...here I am now and I've done a lot since my last post.

1. I traveled to Florida to see my family and for a break in between my two placements.  It was really relaxing and I had a lot of time with my dad to travel around Florida.  I got to go back to Jacksonville, which is like a third home to me!  And I after living there all summer I got to go to St. Augustine.  Which was an awesome colonial town.
After a few days with my dad the rest of the fam fam got there, just in time for my baby sister's national cheerleading competition.  They got second!!!!  Which is such a sweet accomplishment and I am so so proud of her!  Here are some pictures from that week!

The Fort at St. Augustine

It was also BIKE WEEK in Daytona...these are our new friends...The Phat Bastards.  My Father talks to everyone!

Dad and I at the Fort
*Photo credit: Phat Bastards founder :) 

Beautiful!

On the road to St. Augustine

The Oldest School House in the USA

Heather had an interesting idea that rice crispy treats made a good breakfast...."It's cereal!"

Iowa All Stars Fusion!  My sis is the 6th from the left in the back row

So proud of you JoJo!

We were bored waiting for our food

Impossible to take a good sister pic

2. I started 5th grade!  I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!  It is really fun and even though it's like a job in itself to get my students to stop talking, I love the 5th grade level of intelligent conversation.  It's so amazing and I love hearing there thinking.  I have 3 science classes everyday and then Language Arts.  We are reading The City of Ember.  If you like young adult books I would totally recommend it...I read it in one night and am waiting for the next one to be returned to the library.
In science we are doing ecosystems and using a FOSS kit that I used in 5th grade, which is totally fun because the kids think it's cool I did the same experiments as them.  We currently planted terrariums and the kids are really learning a lot...it's fun to see them collaborate and have to rely on each other.  Sorry no pictures from 5th grade yet.

3. This weekend we climbed a volcano.  This was probably the most physically taxing thing I've ever done in my life.  We climbed mombacho from the base to the top!  Most people take a military like vehicle up most of the way and then hike around the top...not us!  I didn't ever think it be so steep!  We saw people from Seattle there and they asked us where we were from.  We told them and they're like "Really!  We hike all the time and we would never dream of doing this!"  Yeah it was nuts and my muscles kept telling me it was a bad idea.   Getting to the top was so rewarding though...knowing I had conquered the volcano! There was a lot of praying going on in that last half hour (it took 2 hours to climb).  Here are some pictures that highlight the best parts of the climb:

The Volcano Mombacho from Granada...where we started the day at Kathy's Waffle House :)

These Howler Monkeys we saw on our hike up.  They were peeing as I was trying to walk under the tree...so I waited and then RAN REALLY FAST!

The one flat part in the road...it was AWESOME!

A Model of the volcano Mombacho

View from the top...looking over the crater at Granada and Lake Nicaragua

This is the crater

Learning to Long for More

Sunday I leave Nicaragua for a week.  I am so excited to have cleanness (not a word), no burning trash smell, good food, English, and Walmart....the list could go on.  But the point is that Sarah and I are stoked to go back to the states for even just these 7 days.  I've made out my list of must do's: Target, Asiago breakfast sandwich at Panera, Poncheros, Firehouse Subs (Florida!), STARBUCKS!, Kilwins (another Florida fav), driving, petting animals, drinking sink water, not getting whistled or kissed at, and sleeping without ants.
It's funny because everyone who is from the states or has ever been to the states is really excited for us.  My friend's fiance is Nicaraguan and doesn't really want to go to the states or live in the states.  He has known this his whole life and doesn't know the joys that are offered in the US.  (Note: I'm not implying the US is great and wonderful, it just has a lot more than Nicaragua)  She just tells him that it's better than Nicaragua but he likes his milk that makes me gag.  He likes where he's from and doesn't want anything different.  I feel like it's a lot of how I am.  I know where I am but I don't always believe that what God has ahead of me is better.  It's better to wait for something big than stay where I am or get little joys now when God promises Heavenly treasures.
As I said I've had a lot of time to read lately and have gotten really into a book by Elizabeth Elliot called Passion and Purity.  I have to say this book has not been what I thought it would be about!  I have learned so much and have actually seen my self in a lot of what she talks about in the book.  She doesn't only talk about physical purity but emotional purity.  Emotional purity or the Christian-ese term "guarding your heart" has always confused me.  What does it mean to guard your heart anyway?!?
A few years a really liked this guy and even though my close friends thought he might have an interest in me.  I thought I was again "guarding my heart" and I never pursued it...not even a little.  It wasn't until we were apart that I really realized how much that relationship (or whatever you want to call it) had hurt me.  There were so many times I thought about bringing it up, sending an email, or being like "WHAT IS THIS? What happened?"  One of the things Elizabeth Elliot talks about is how often we ask God to either give us what we long for or take that longing away.  What God tells us is "I want you to learn to long for something more"  I have to say this has been a hard learning experience and it's lasted way longer than I ever would have imagined.  And even though I am over him and have moved on I still think it's important for me to be pray that God will teach me and I will learn to long for something more than just this...just going home for a week...just Nicaragua...just the lima beans if I have the promise of an ice cream sundae...getting the drift of what I'm learning? :) (last one might have been a stretch)
I feel like being here has been a challenge for me spiritual but it's in these challenges that God is moving, teaching me, and molding me to be the woman of God he has created me to be and for that I am thankful.

The ultimate poop story and other tales from ANS

So last Wednesday one of the other first grade teacher came into my classroom after class.  He told me i would never believe what had happened today.  He told me that during reading time he sent one of his little boys to the bathroom.  After the boy had been gone for a while the maid that cleans our block came into the classroom...note that she never talks to us.  I guess it's a cultural thing that they "workers" don't talk to the teachers...weird but it puts it into perspective.  Anyway the lady motions him outside.  Jason is the last classroom on the row.  The maid tell him that she caught this little boy of his pooping next to the wall just around the corner from his classroom.  Sure enough there was poop there.  The maid told the boy to go to the bathroom to wipe and wash his hands...haha!  So the little boy comes back and Jason asks him if did it.  He says "no Mr. i didn't do it..."  Jason then pointed at the security cameras and said he would just look at the video.  The little boy then quickly admitted to doing it...His reasoning?  He was having such a good time in his reading group he didn't want to be gone too long.  WOW...I told Jason that he should take it as a great compliment to his teaching! haha!

So for the past 4 schools days: Thursday, Friday, Monday, and Tuesday I have been on my own...aka no cooperating teacher and no substitute.  Which is fine but has been very taxing especially since I am trying to get things done before I go home in 2 WEEKS!  I can't wait for a week in Florida with my Dad for most of it than the rest of my fam for 4 days!

Friday one of my favorite teaching moments...like EVER!  I found out via a mom that the girls in my class had been ganging up against one of the girls and she was going home crying every night.  This broke my heart especially that this is the one of the nicest sweetest girls that is in my class.  So we (me & my assistant) told the girls they had to come in during break and eat lunch with us.  While they were at specials we rallied the troops and got around 7 other 1st and 2nd grade teachers to join us.  We planned a little skit in which I was left out by all the other girls and they wouldn't talk to me.  The same situation my little Mia was in.  When they came into the room they all sat around one table expect for Mia.  I wanted to cry just looking at them!  I couldn't believe my girls were doing this!  I didn't tell them what we were doing...we just started acting.  It was awesome! A few of the girls came up to me during the skit, while i was cry and ask "Ms. Laura are you ok?  Are you crying?  What's wrong?"  After it all the other teachers left and we talked to the girls about how they thought I felt.  Mia started crying and we were able to really reconcile the girls' friendships with each other!  Mia was all smiles the rest of the day!  It was so rewarding and she kept coming up to me and giving me hugs.  All I could think was: This is why I want to be a teacher!  I want to be able to teach kids to love each other...build community and grow together!

My first graders have also started dating I guess!?  What in the world!? I had one of my little boys writing "Takoa <3 Mikela" on his paper!  I told him he better erase it or I would hang it up in the hallway...haha!  He doesn't even care that the whole class...including all 3 of his teachers know!  The best things is for Valentines he sent her a candy gram.  The next day she brought him a little card.  For cards we usually put them in their homework folders so she gave the card to my assistant.  At break Laura, who is my assistant, told me Mikela had written Takoa a card.  I asked if it was really bad that I wanted to read it...she told me she already did so I did too...(not sure if this is professional, probably not, but too cute to resist)  Let me paraphrase the card to the best of my knowledge.  "Takoa, Thank you for the candy gram.  I know that you love me and it's ok.  I love you too but please don't tell the class.  Mikela"  You can't tell me that isn't precious.  Yesterday, I talked to his mom who is a friend of mine.  She said she doesn't understand where he gets it...She explained....They don't even have a TV! haha  The best part is Takoa's little sisters is telling her mom that my cooperating teacher's son is her 'novio'...aka boyfriend.  They are in K4...which is preschool.

I'm going to keep this one strictly class related because I have so much other stuff to say that no one would read it if it was that long.  But I hope you enjoyed these little tales :)